I mean, how can you become more respectable and sort of like “important-looking” in other peoples’ eyes? I’ve heard tips like move slower or smile less, but I’d like to learn more than that. Book recommendations would also be nice.
Authority bias is a psychological theory which states that we tend to trust people who are in certain uniforms. I’m sure you have heard of this before, but when you see a police officer, you tend to start talking more formally, and maybe unconsciously acting a little nervous through sweating or shaking.
In the same way that authority bias works with police officers, you can switch the bias in your favor to achieve ‘respect’.
Your clothing can help you gain more respect from others. When you dress in a respectable manner, it tends to lead people to the assumption that you are a successful, ambitious, and smart man or women.
But, it’s also very important who’s respect you are trying to gain. If you want to gain the respect of a gang member, then dressing in suit and carrying a side bag may potentially get you shot. But, if you dress up with your jeans hanging low below your waist, and your golden jewelry shining on your neck and ears, then you probably won’t win the interview to study History at Oxford.
So, you need to figure out for yourself which audience you want to respect you. Now, because I have no real experience with gangster’s, the rest of this answer is aimed for ‘corporate’ related respect. I’m talking tailor-made suits, dinner jackets, and bow-ties.
(Suit vs less formal clothing)
Here are some outfits you can look into:
Hugo Boss Suits For Men
Moss Designer Suits
Learn how to speak to your audience. Many people tend to keep the same tone and a consistent level of formality when they are conversing with one person to another. And, this is a good idea when you are a truly respected individual. But, when you want to create a false a sense of respect for yourself for a particular purpose, you need to learn how to talk to other people based on their ideology and beliefs.
Some people respect the attributes of the type of person who comes across as ‘tough’. Some people respect the attributes of the type of person who comes across as ‘smart’. As ‘unique’. As ‘creative’. etc.
The best way to know how to talk to someone to gain their respect is through understanding how they are talking. Take note of:
1. The words they use.
2. The tone of voice.
3. The context of the conversation.
And, try and replicate those. Try and understand the background of the individual you are talking to. One of the most important factors is not the words you choose, it is not the context, but the tone of words.
Your choice of words, and they way you speak tell a lot about the kind of person you are. So, whether you are trying to impress someone, or trying to gain respect, make sure you speak in a way that is specifically tailored to what the individual believes to be respectful.
Treat others with respect. When you don’t treat other people with respect, you can’t expect to get respect from other people. Being respectful to other people isn’t just a matter of having ‘due regards for others’. Respecting others is an active process of genuine appreciation towards people, which is comprised of the following:
1. Truth. One of the most important ingredients of respect. You have to be truthful to other people to become respected as a person.
2. Trust. Equally as important as telling the truth. When you make an appointment, you have to be on-time. No one ever respects someone who can’t keep on schedule.
3. Polite. This is not a matter of ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Politeness is a matter of respecting other people’s beliefs. Political, religious, or anything else. You need to be able to respect other people for what they are and what they believe; that’s politeness. Not a fake ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.
Other important factors often attributed to respect include:
Posture: stand up straight, don’t hunch your back, keep a tall posture, own your space basically.
Walking: walk as if you are going somewhere. Walk straight. Walk tall.
Physique: it is important to know that to be respected, your physique doesn’t matter. As long as you come across as healthy, that would do.
But, all of what I talked about above is subjective. Everyone is different. But the fundamental aspect to gain respect comes from doing something respectful. By doing the things I explained above, you can achieve a false sense of respect from others, but by doing something respectful, none of the above matter. People will respect you for who you are and nothing else.
This is Mahatma Gandhi, who as you can see from the picture, is not the best dressed man in the world. He may not use face lotion, his eye-glasses may not be RayBan’s. But, he was and still is a respected man. And, that is the differentiator between false respect and true respect. True respect means that people will remember and respect you for many years after your death, because you made a difference in people’s lives.
What you do is what makes you respected, not what you wear, not how you talk, not where you’re from, not who you know.
The above can only make you happy temporarily.
Do something that is truly respectful, and you will be eternally happy and respected.
I hope this helped!